This is not a list that tells you everything I think is difficult and different, there is so much more to the culture and at the end of the day: this is just my subjective view and everyone experiences cultures differently. Do not get offended, I'm trying not to be offensive but I do apologize if someone finds a particular thing offensive. Here we go...
Small talk
I know that at least Inari will agree with me on this. Before moving here I knew that small talk is a thing that exists and that the way people communicate is different — Finns look a bit angry at times as we don't see the point in smiling unless we're like, ecstatic. However I had no idea what was awaiting for me. Who'd have known that hearing "how are you?/you okay?" multiple times a day could be so annoying?! It's not the question per se but the fact that actually the only socially acceptable answer is "I'm good/Good, thanks" or something along those lines. Even when you're having the worst day ever and you can't breathe because you're coughing and your throat hurts and you haven't had your coffee and it's raining. You're always good, ALWAYS. At some point I just gave up trying to understand the whole meaning of that conversation as the other person usually does not care, they are just being polite and that's it. It's a bit different with my flatmates and with people that I know better, I rarely say things exactly as they are but I no longer see the point of saying "I'm good" if I actually am not. This leads us to the subtle difference between saying "I'm good" and "I'm fine".
We were having a chat about small talk and how I find it difficult at times and one person said that they hadn't really even considered the whole concept before I mentioned about it some weeks ago. Apparently the main reason why you're expected to say "I'm good" is that then the other person doesn't have to worry about you and think of ways to make you feel better. If you were to say that you feel terrible, they'd start thinking what can they do to help you and that's not necessary. That's fair enough but then again, you could always just not ask how they are? No? Okay, thought so. Again, it's important to be nice. Don't make the other person feel uncomfortable by not asking how they are, you might sound like you don't care even though that actually is the case. I'm not saying that people don't care, it's just the act of asking "how are you?" from everyone you meet... Well, it would be quite odd if you'd actually care about every single answer you get. Not saying that some people don't do it, they might but the majority probably don't and it's okay.
However, if you want to let someone know that you're not okay, the best way is to say "I'm fine". The next thing is just my subjective experience but... British people are the most passive aggressive people I've ever met. Where a Finn would say how they feel about the situation (e.g. say to your face that you are behaving like an a-hole), a British person doesn't really do that. Again, this is my subjective experience and I am not saying that this doesn't happen but in general it appears that over here being passive aggressive is the way to go. Having a bad day? You're fine. Really not liking someone's decision? It's fine. Something definitely not being fine? Ooh, it's fine. Like a friend said yesterday: when someone (especially a girl) says that they are fine, shit's about to hit the fan. Saying that something is "fine" usually means that it definitely is not fine in any way. (Also: never ever tell someone that they look "just fine", that will translate to everything but fine and they will probably be passive aggressive towards you)
"xx"
Finnish people don't really show affection, we hug friends but using something like "xx" in a text message? Um, no. When I first saw how casually kisses are used in messages it was really weird, after a while I got used to it and now there are times when it feels really weird not to add "x" or "xx" to the end. It's just... casual and normal and it's not like "oh you are the love of my life let me kiss you". Sure, I use it with people that I care about but using an "xx" doesn't mean that someone has just confessed their undying love for you. A casual "xx" doesn't hurt, it's nice to know that people like you, right?
How to deal with cold weather and winter?
England and 2cm of snow? Everyone PANIC NOW. +12°C? Yeeah it's probably time to get the fur out, just in case you know. English winter is hilarious but I do love it, it's quite nice to see the sun and I'll take all the pouring rain over snowstorms and -15°C anytime. Being able to wear flipflops throughout the year is quite convenient, I can't imagine doing laundry at 9:30am on a Sunday and wearing actual shoes that require wearing socks. It just doesn't fit the picture. All in all, it seems that even the people who live here (okay now it sounds like I don't live here but... you know, the actual English people) have absolutely no clue what to wear in winter months. I've seen people in shorts and t-shirts and five minutes later there's someone in a fur. I guess it's nice to be able to wear all types of clothes throughout the year, in Finland we just have this thing called winter and it gets cold.
Pub culture
Let's move to something where I say "yay England", shall we? I actually love pubs (and psych soc pub crawls). No, I've never had a pub dinner and all of my visits have been after 6pm and consisted of enjoying alcoholic beverages but just the whole concept of a pub is so great. I once got asked if we have something like pubs in Finland and, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't think we do? Yes, there's the occasional Irish pub but if you want to go and enjoy alcoholic beverages you go to a bar or a cafe or maybe the occasional restaurant. However, there aren't really places like pubs? I'd never thought about this before that conversation but now it feels so weird. Like, you can't go to a casual
Accents (and people)
Not a pro or a con but something that needs to be addressed: I don't have a Finnish accent and my accent is a super weird combination of Canadian and American and something. My accent is not British (cheers for those who've said that it is but no, it's not) and it can't be American either as my pronounciation of "can't" is wrong for them. I don't know what my accent is but I'm fine with it. If anyone wonders what (a slightly exaggerated) Finnish accent sounds like, watch the video below. It made me laugh, especially "wash än ripiit, wash än ripiit". It's important to be able to laugh at yourself and your country so let this be an example of that.
Sauna Instructions (2014) from Woodpecker Film on Vimeo.
I mentioned at the beginning how I can't really understand how people are so fascinated by the British accent. Yeah, there are pretty accents and there are people who could just keep on talking and I'd happily listen to them for ages but in general it's just... odd. I remember sitting in English classes in middle school and people talking about the British accent and how British men are so handsome and how just by walking on the street you'll see all these amazing men with their lovely accents and... no. That is actually not how it works. Okay, we were like 12 so people didn't know what they (hopefully) know now but actually England is not a country filled with magnificent, handsome men. The majority are... normal and there are also disgusting men around (night out in Southampton would have been fab but then there are men who think they have a right to touch you and that's not okay). England is not a mysterious utopia filled with amazing people. Yes, some people are really lovely and I am so glad to have met some of the people I have met but there are some that are just as terrible as the bad ones in Finland.
Nevertheless, the idea of English people being polite is true. At least to some extent. People do say "sorry" more and they keep the door open for you and you can find friends who actually care (or at least act very well to care) when they ask "how are you?". When I think of Christmas break and how I felt about this whole "eyyy let's live in England" -thing I kind of want to laugh at myself. Everything has changed and now that semester 2 is nearly over I am quite sad, there have been so many great moments that looking back at them makes me feel really wistful. We had our last pub crawl with the current psych soc committee last night and it was sad in a way but then again change is constant and necessary.
Once again you will have to enjoy a post without pictures but at least there's a video? I am sorry about the sudden language change, this was not planned but I started to write this post in Finnish and I was struggling so much that I thought it would be easier to write in English. I know that I was planning on blogging in Finnish but at the moment my Finnish skills are rusty as hell and writing coherent sentences that would say the things in a way I'd like to say them is... difficult. It's not that I can't do it, it just takes too long and I end up staring my screen and wondering if anything I've written makes any sense. This is what being bilingual (and speaking multiple languages in general) does to you: you forget things in your mother tongue and at least I have started to think and dream in English — just because it's faster and easier.
Oh and in my last post I was struggling with finding the Finnish equivalent of "resilience". I've been thinking about it and I think it's just "sisu". Ei ole suomalaisen sisun voittanutta, haha.
I'd love to continue rambling about things but there's a reflective section of a careers portfolio that's yelling at me. Jasmin will be here in four days and I have nearly 2000 words to write (1600 of which aren't actually due until the 8th of April) before she gets here? Well, sisulla eteenpäin.
xx,
Kiia
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