I have however decided to write a series of blog posts about living in Japan and I'm gonna start with the second worst one — the Bad. You know, just to keep the balance and be realistic. I will try to write the next part by Summer, but who knows. The last part will not be available until sometime next year, but I promise to publish it when the time is right and I am able to do it.
It's been about six months since I moved here. I had no illusions that life here would be easy. Japanese office culture is very specific and one-of-a-kind with its dress codes and rules on how to speak at work. Every morning you are expected to greet our manager with "お疲れ様です" or "お疲れ様でございませ", which effectively translates to "thank you for your hard work". The latter is more formal with "~degozaimasu" at the end and sometimes you can pick up a Japanese person being upset with you if they use "desu" instead of "~degozaimasu", but similarly this provides you with a way of being passive aggressive.
It's difficult to list things one by one but I'll give it a go...
1. Need to accept everything and anything as your fault
Let's say that something went wrong and it is by no means your fault. Are you allowed to tell the truth? No. You are expected to apologize and inform others how you'll ensure that this will never happen again. In a way it's okay if you learn to not take things personally — after all, you just work here and shit happens. However, it really depends on your superiors how issues are being handled. Some will accept an apology when a problem arises, others will keep bringing it up.
Now, I was aware that a job in Japan will have a dresscode and I came here appreciating it. I am a fan of school uniforms and I think they're great. However, especially when we are getting closer to summer, having to wear a black suit and tights gets incredibly uncomfortable. Temperatures around +15°C are fine, but for a few days we had +23°C the past week and it was nothing but uncomfortable. Being told that you cannot use the aircon because "they're not used until July" makes it even more uncomfortable — imagine teaching in front of a students when you're sweating your makeup off and all you want is to feel a breeze on your face, but there is nothing you can do about it except dream.
3. Need to treat superiors as gods
I appreciate that when someone is in a leadership position they've probably worked hard to get there. Are they perfect? I doubt it. Am I perfect? Of course not. Does that meant that they know everything the best? Probably not. I knew Japanese companies are incredibly hierarchic, but this level of hierarchy? I was not expecting this. Unfortunately I do not feel comfortable telling more right now, but ask me again in a year and I am more than happy to tell about the things that happened.
4. Being reprimanded in front of one's colleagues
This is the norm in Japan. You've done something wrong and/or your manager thinks you're terrible at your job? Every single one of your colleagues should know about it. While this can be partially attributed to cultural differences, the manner in which this feedback is provided makes a huge difference.
5. Need to be humble
Overall if I were to describe working in Japan with one word I would have to pick "humble". You need to be humble to succeed. You need to be able to take crap even if you feel like you're not at fault and even if you had nothing to do with the situation. You need to apologize for everything and anything you can think of. You're ill? Apologize for the trouble. You're ill because of your job? Apologize. You are always the one at fault and you need to accept that. You need to be able to take whatever is thrown at you and apologize for it.
There is so much more I wish I could talk about but at the moment I do not feel comfortable doing that. As of last week, I have given in my three week notice at work and will be leaving my current position in late May. I never thought I'd be this thrilled, but frankly, after these past months of pain (from what seems to be reactive arthritis more than likely exacerbated by stress) and poor treatment, I am absolutely thrilled to leave. I do not have a job lined up, but sometimes you just have to understand that if you really have to think about it it might not be right for you.
Now don't get me wrong; I still absolutely love Japan. This industry though? I feel sorry for whoever is going to replace me. I knew from the get-go that I was overqualified for this job and the first week showed me how right I was. I enjoy teaching and some of my students I am going to miss, but the job itself? I'm more than delighted to be leaving. There is so much more to this than I feel comfortable talking about right now, but perhaps in the future it'll all be clear to you as well.
I do still sometimes think of this as giving up, but then I'm reminded of everything I've been through and the wise words one of my MSc lecturers tweeted last year;
“Across my walks of life, I've seen by now that someone who:
*Ever treats you heartlessly, no matter if they sometimes treat you well;
*Is seen or heard to treat others the same way;
*Takes people's utility as their worth;
Is often one brave voice away from final disgrace.”
I truly hope this is true, because there is no other way I can perceive all of this being legal and accepted. At the end of the day, I perceive to have tried my best. I did everything I could. I got the union involved and with their help did everything I could. Nothing changed, so what other option do I have but to move on?
I deserve better than this and while uncertainty is incredibly uncomfortable and scary, it is still much better than certain despair. Life isn't easy or pretty and things will be difficult, but you don't need to accept everything that gets thrown at you. You need to be able to say "this is enough" and move on.
In this case moving on means having flights to Australia because a holiday down-under is exactly what I need after these past six months. That combined with a 10hr layover in Fiji should be enough to help me past all of this.
While right now I find it difficult to find the good in all of this, I know that my ability to read kanji has improved drastically. I am more comfortable with my Japanese (especially after a few asahi) and I have gained knowledge on what I don't want my career to be like. I still love Japan. I absolutely do. Would I want to live here for the rest of my life? Probably not, unless I'd have a job that matches my education and where I am treated properly.
I wish I would've been able to post more about these past months, but I have started to write a book about all of this, so who knows, perhaps in some time I can post about what all of this has been like?
xx,
Kiia
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